What Next?

I — again — hadn’t realized how long it has been since I have written here. I have been focusing on writing for a new publication, a digital magazine called Her View From Home. I made it a goal to get published somewhere new this year, and this one kind of fell into my lap.

The best part about the magazine, without a doubt, is the incredibly supportive community of writers I now get to interact with. We read each other’s articles, ask each other for advice, build each other up when we are insecure about what we have written or are thinking of writing.

It is also incredibly intimidating. I am in the company of widely-read bloggers, journalists, and published authors. Many, if not most of them, came into the magazine with substantial online followings.

So — yeah — not me. Maybe some day? But not now.

I never really thought of this blog as something I wanted to become huge. It was literally never on my mind. I knew I needed to write to make sense of this grief and the ways it is always changing. My hope was that even one person would read something I had written and be helped by it. That is still really my only goal.

Alright — so I need to figure out where this blog is headed. First things first, I have decided against publishing the journal entries I made while my mom was in the hospital. I can’t do it. I want a digital copy of what I wrote, but I think they need to stay with me only. I published the first two (which I have since removed) but as I mulled over posting more, I became more protective of them.

These were essentially my last conversations with my mom. I wrote TO her. I couldn’t talk to her, so I was desperate to find an alternative. They really only get heavier as they go along. I guess I thought giving a voice to them would help me move forward. I was definitely wrong on that one.

So for now, I will share my articles here (they’re great and let you have your articles back after 60 days to publish elsewhere.) And I’m sure I’ll write random things here along the way. I am working on something now that I hope I have the courage to publish, if I can get it to come together.

Thanks, as always, for reading.